A guy caught ransacking his friend’s browser history is surprised by what emerges upon being caught. He wanted to be close, and he is now close as ever, and he must pay the price of his obsession–the bittersweetness of pain and retaliation alongside revelation and intimacy.
Sometimes we don’t know how to deal with our desires to be close to another without acting out. The majority have experienced this in so many ways: ignoring texts in effort to appear less eager, teasing each other to conceal our vulnerabilities when we might rather say I love you, or, as in the case of many, obsessing. When we obsess, we become fixated upon the object of our worship rather than allowing ourselves to be an equal part of the exchange. In doing so, we negate our own experience of worthiness, elevating a man to divine status, a man upon whom we project all of our own hidden gold.
We may find ourselves in the throes of a darkened love story, and we may well know the coming impact that our obsessions may bring; this does not always prevent us from behaving like crazy men, stalking our infatuations, or, unfortunately violating boundaries. The emotions that are stirred and channeled within us can lead us into volatile confrontations with our idols. These confrontations are seldom positively surprising. Owning our own shadows requires us to meet these confrontations with honest bravery, to be willing to surrender all and accept culpability.
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