Many of us leave childhood carrying deep shame about our own unmet needs. When our caretakers failed to love us in particular, necessary ways, we developed beliefs about the ensuing sense of lack that became part of our identities. To deal with what we’ve lost, many of us achieve, strive, and seek perpetual targets for greater success. Still, others of us lose ourselves in addiction to substances, food, sex, TV, social media–anything to quell the existential anxiety of living in a human body in our fragmented world. Deep down, we feel the burden of our independence: the knowledge that, as adults, we must give ourselves the love we have never received from another–despite relationships, both romantic and platonic.
An edgy way to play with this intrapersonal dynamic is to intentionally act out our dependence on others, the thrill of not making choices, not being responsible for our own needs, and not thinking ahead to the next step on our journey. For a moment, to be wholly dependent on another can be an incredible gift of reclamation and, for many, an erotic zenith.
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